Rewind and REPEAT

Haha...I just thought I'd share an additional post probably stating what ya'll are thinking already. Does she remember what she just wrote about a week or two ago?!?

I just read some of my previous post "80/20" and realized that I should tattoo a bunch of things on myself, maybe then it would sink in. :)

Well, thanks in advance, for your grace and patience with me as you read things that may seem repetitive. But, the Lord is having to rewind and repeat things for me until it gets through my THICK head!  Praise you Lord for being persistent, slow to anger, and patient!

Planning gone awry

It has been a while since I've written on here, and mainly because I've allowed myself to get caught up in a whirlwind of perfection. Surprised? Probably not. But I spent a good part of the last 2 weeks focusing (correction: obsessing) on my role as a homemaker and a teacher to my children (mainly just one little guy right now). I became so consumed with things for a few days that I found my times in prayer distracted and disjointed - all because my thoughts and my "devotion" were on something else.

Then I read Colossians 2:8-10..."See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ....in Him you have been made complete."

Its not that the things I was focusing on were deceiving or even worldly-focused. I've been spending a lot of time researching and in the beginning stages of creating/finding a teaching plan for Pumpkin (my 3 yrd old) since I'll be a full-time SAHM (stay-at-home-mom). The ideas and curriculum we will be mainly using is written by a Christian missionary SAHM and her curriculum both is based on and focuses on Christ. BUT, for a few days I was so consumed with things that it was in a sense taking me captive. Anything, even good things, can take us captive when they rise above Christ. When you base your identity, your worth, your time, etc. etc. on something other than Christ, it becomes empty deception.

"In Him you have been made complete"....Wow. Can we just stop and read that again? "In Him you have been made complete." There, I made your read it again :) Oh how I hope your soul leaps for joy when you read that as mine did and continues to every time I read it. Note: It doesn't say "perfect", it says "complete". No, unfortunately we won't be perfect until the day Christ returns (see Philippians 1:6). But we are complete! You, just as the Lord made you, are complete if you know Christ. You don't have to strive to be someone you aren't. You don't have to strive to be super-teacher or super-mom or super-worker or super-_______. No, you are already complete in Christ because HE has filled you with all you need for life and godliness (1 Peter 1:3).

Oh how the Lord is so gracious, compassionate and patient with me. Does anyone know where I can get "D.W.M." tattooed on my forehead?? Well, I guess then I wouldn't see it. I pray that the Lord would tattoo it on my heart! Just like a real tattoo, its a painful process but permanent in the end.

I pray that whenever you, whoever you are, read this post that you will spend a few minutes just contemplating on the profound truth that if you know Christ, know him as your Savior and Lord, that you are complete in Him. And then, praise Him! Throw off the lies that are hindering you and telling you that you aren't ______ enough. You are enough just as you are because you are filled with the Savior of the world!

20/80

Maybe its our you-can-do-it-yourself culture or perhaps just my quasi-perfectionist-sometimes-TypeA personality but I frequently catch myself trying to "improve" myself by my own efforts. I catch myself trying to build up my faith or make myself holier, etc. Its usually a frustrating process as, of course, my own efforts fail to produce the results and "improvement" I was hoping for. That is why, in the last few days, I have drawn so much encouragement from the following passages as the Lord has gently reminded me of something. It is not my job to come 90 or 80% of the way to let Him do the remaining 10 or 20%. It is not our job to "get ourselves right" and then come to the Lord for the "leftovers". He has gently reminded me of what I think is perhaps the exact opposite. It is my job to come 20% of the way with the little I have and in the ugly state I am in - to come to the Lord for the rest of the 80% or the "entree".

Paul reminds us in Colossians 1:21-23 of who we were before Christ, who we are now in Him, and why our do-it-ourselves attitudes just don't work in God's kingdom. "And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven."

Then in Colossians 1:29, "For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me."

Looking at those passages...lets look at our jobs, our 20%...and then we'll look at what the Lord promises.
Our role: continue in the faith, remain stable and steadfast, don't shift from the hope of the gospel, toil for Christ and fellow believers
Christ's role: reconcile us, present us holy and blameless and above reproach, giving us his energy, powerfully working his energy in us

It isn't our job to make ourselves holy and blameless, to "get ourselves right" and then come to the Lord. No, it is just our job, our 20%, to push on toward Christ and TRUST in Him to make us more like Him.

That doesn't mean our 20% is easy or comes natural. But sometimes when you realize your job isn't as big as you thought it was, it seems more attainable.

So to myself and anyone else out there reading this, PUSH ON. Keep on striving. Just continue. Continue in truth, in prayer, in fellowship. Continue in love and grace. Remain stable and firm and steadfast - whatever that may take. Let go of perfection on your terms and let the ultimate perfecter perfect you himself.

Sometimes its just a choice

Where are you right now? More pointedly, where is your heart today? Are you anxious about an upcoming event or change? Are you hurting and sad? Are you discontent with your circumstances? Are you impatient or confused?

Sometimes, as David knew well, life is hard. Sometimes its hard because the Lord allows it and wants to use it to grow you and other times its hard because of our own sin. Either way the Lord will use it. But, sometimes, life is hard and it hurts. Your head may know something to be true but that doesn't necessarily mean your heart will gladly join along.

Psalm 103:1-5
"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagles."

Why does David have to tell his soul, not once but twice, to bless the Lord? Why does David have to tell his soul not to forget all the amazing things the Lord has done in his life? Why does David have to remind himself how good the Lord is and who the Lord is? He does all this because sometimes its just a choice. Truth may not always come naturally flowing out of your head and heart. Some days, like today perhaps, we just have to choose to remember. Choose to cling to truth. Choose to bless the Lord and remember how good he is. I wish we didn't have to choose. I wish it just came so naturally that every second of the day, regardless of what was going on around me, I would bless the Lord, revel in his goodness, fear him in all his glory. But the fall of man did occur. And we are fallen sinful people in need of a gracious God who does forgive us and heal us and redeem us. And, thankfully, that is who our God is.

The Lord is worthy of our blessing. He is worthy of all of our devotion. And He is loving and merciful.

Wherever your heart is this morning, make the choice to believe. Believe God is who he says he is and that he is merciful and gracious. Choose to cling to truth. Choose to cling to joy. Choose to remember God's blessings today that you may be content right now. Choose to remember God's perfect timing that you may wait on his blessings patiently. Choose to remember that God satisfies you with good and renews your youth. Choose to remember that God will give you grace and strength in whatever change you are about to face.

For me, today, I choose to remember that God is good, that God loves me, and that he crowns me, a wretched sinner, with steadfast love and mercy.

Lets all make the choice today, lets learn from David, the man after God's own heart.

The Bingel 500

A few years ago we were in a couples bible study and one of the couples had recently had their first child. They were very financially limited but had unlimited faith. It was hard for them to afford even the basics for their little girl such as diapers, etc. As our bible study came to a close one night and we all were saying our "good-byes" we opened the door to leave and found a large package filled with diapers and $200 in cash. No note, no recipient listed. We were all floored, shocked, and quickly on the brink of tears. The Lord provided at just the right time and in such a huge way. I often have thought of that moment to remind me of the Lord's faithfulness and goodness.

And now, as of last Thursday, I have a story of our own - a testimony, really, of the Lord's gracious and abundant generosity. This month has been a bit "tighter" for us as I was not able to work for almost 3 weeks. With school loans, children, my car having troubles (again) and the rest of the expense list, things were tight. We opened our mail to find an envelope, addressed to us, no return address and inside was 2 very amazing gifts. The first was a single sheet of computer paper with 3 verses on it: James 1:17, Psalm 84:11-12, and Matthew 5:5 - verses that are incredibly humbling.

The second gift was a check....a check worth $500. 6 days later and it still brings tears to my eyes. I'm still processing it all - the Lord's goodness despite my total lack of goodness, someone's faithfulness to the Lord and the body of Christ despite my lack of faithfulness. It is all humbling beyond words. We have no idea who was so generous but we thank you, whoever you are.  You probably aren't reading this but we yet I am compelled to express our deepest gratitude. Your generosity and love has spurred us on towards more love and good deeds; it has instilled in us a greater desire to bless someone else, even if it stretches our pocketbook.

As a result, we have come up with the phrase, "The Bingel 500". Whenever we are doubting the Lord's faithfulness or a financial burden arises, we will remind each other of "The Bingel 500" - reminding us that the Lord is never early or late, He has plans to prosper us and not to harm us, and He is an abundant giver.

The Lord is not a bare-minimum giver. He is an abundant overflowing giver. Trust in the Lord and store your treasures in heaven and He will bless you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you....to you, Lord and to you, our dear sister or brother in Christ! We love you.

John 10:10-11 Jesus is speaking and declares, "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd."

He is good and He gives abundantly.

Walk the talk

We have a phrase in our home that we repeat to our 3 year old often regarding obeying: Right away, all the way, with a happy heart. We try to make it fun and have him say it with us. While he doesn't get all 3 parts of that yet, he will someday. And while it may be idealistic to expect that of him now, the principles, nonetheless, are encouraged and commanded by the Lord. We are teaching him according to what the Lord asks of all of us. When I tell my 3 year old to put away his Legos, he believes that means putting away a few of them over the course of 10 minutes and whining along the way. I explain to him, hopefully gently, that I mean for him to put all, yes all 72 of them, away right then and do it without complaining or whining. Each time I say our little chant, its impossible for me not to be convicted myself. How can I ask my 3 yr old to do something without making sure I am doing the same?
When the Lord asks me to respect my husband, he does not mean for me to "spread" my respect out over a long period of time, respecting him when I feel like it, to respect him sometimes and tear him down others, and to "whine" along the way. No, He expects me to show my husband respect right away, yes, even in that very difficult heated discussion and to fully respect him (not allowing unwholesome talk come out of my mouth). He expects me to respect my husband while having a pure heart. That may not mean that its easy to respect him or even that I'm excited to. But its what the Lord commands and He asks for and expects my willing and joyful obedience. Right away, all the way, with a happy heart.

I'm continually reminded of James 1:22, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." I have read that verse many times but it wasn't until a few months ago that the last 4 words especially jumped off the page for me. "Do what it says." Do it! Just do it! The Lord could not be more direct. He reminded me that when we read the word and read his commands, commands like love others, forgive others, be joyful, etc. and do not love all others, forgive others, are bitter, etc. we are deceiving ourselves!

At times it seems idealistic, just like asking a 3 yr old, to obey the Lord right away, all the way, and with a happy heart. But, we can take heart and be confident that because that is in the Lord's will, he will do it in us! (1 John 5:14-15). I love it that the Lord doesn't ask anything of us that He won't supply the power and strength to do. (Colossians 1:11).

So, may we all walk one step at a time today singing to ourselves, "Right away, all the way, with a happy heart" and then just do it!

Christmas day every day

Have you ever watched young children open presents on Christmas? Most of them act in a similar manner whether opening gifts on Christmas or their birthday. Unless they got a great night of sleep or nap and are overflowing with the fruit of the Spirit, namely patience, (at that young age, good luck!) there usually is a lot of whining involved, grabbing the gift out of a sibling or cousin's grasp, and asking where the next gift is. The scene usually unfolds like this: You carefully pick out gifts that your child will be ecstatic about and you purchase them not for your own benefit but purely for them. You spend an hour or so wrapping them, tying on bows, knowing the whole time that it won't be appreciated or probably even noticed by your 2 or 3 yr old. But, nonetheless, you know that he or she loves ripping off the paper. And, it looks pretty to you! The time has come to lavish the gifts on your child. You watch them as they burst into joyful screams, jump up and down in an excitement, and rush over to the pile of gifts. They rip off the paper to find the gift inside and for a split second, a millisecond really, they seem to be very grateful. You are ready to sit back and enjoy watching them play with that toy that you just knew they would love and have fun with. But wait...they actually threw the toy down and are already ripping into the next gift. The paper is off this one before you can even say the word "Wait". This time you hardly get a smile before they are, once again, on to the next gift. And so it continues until you're left with a pile of shredded paper, a pile of toys, and a little one crying and asking for more.

Pretty typical, right? Maybe it doesn't go quite that bad but now imagine you are older, perhaps in your 50's or 60's. Its your daughter or son's birthday again. They are much older now. They have spouses, children, mortgages and jobs. You enjoyed picking out their gifts because you know they don't always have the funds to splurge. You wrapped them up all nice and neat - again, because really its just prettier that way. You have your son sit down while you bring the gifts to him. Unexpectedly though, this grown 30 yr old man starts ripping the paper off and tearing into the gift. Bows and ribbon is flying in the air, boxes are tossed across the room. He sees the first item, throws a cursory "thanks" your way and is off to the next gift while you sit their astonished. You blink, maybe even pinch yourself, to make sure that 28 years really has passed and this is not your 2 yr old again. No, this is your grown child. This continues, again, until you're left with a pile of shredded paper, a pile of gadgets most likely, and a grown man annoyed and asking for more.

Pretty ridiculous, right? Well, the Lord, in his infinite grace and mercy reminded me that we too can act like this. The scene looks a little different and there isn't really wrapping perse but it still plays out the same. The Lord blesses us each day with some repeating, though still amazing, gifts like breath, a new day, a warm bed, food, etc. He also gives us other gifts, that He picks out just for you or me, like a sunny warm day or a fresh cup of coffee or a kiss from a loved one. Sadly though, I find myself all too often throwing up to him a cursory "thanks" and going on to the next gift. I continue to do this, saying thanks less and less and looking more and more for the other gifts. By the end of the day there I am, standing among hundreds (yes, count them and I'm sure there are hundreds) of gifts and asking for more. Pretty ridiculous is right.

Verses to remember: "Every good and perfect gift is from above." James 1:17, "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Thess 5:18, and "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7.

When we have a truly thankful heart and remember the multitude of gifts God lavishes on us each day, it is pretty hard to be anxious about things. I pray that tomorrow will be different -that my "thanks" will be true and that I will gratefully open up one "gift" at a time. Next time you watch a child open up gifts hopefully it will be a good reminder to check yourself and make sure you aren't still a 3 yrd old living in an adult's life.