Wow, 2 whole years have passed. Life has changed drastically and I, honored and humbled, have seen God at work in unbelievable ways. That is for another post all in itself. But today, right now, I need to share where my heart is, where I feel the pulls and tugs of life on my heart. Where I want to be and where I am seem chasms away...and yet I hold fast to the word of life, to Paul's words to the Philippian church that, "He who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion on the day of Christ Jesus." I long, yes, truly deeply long to love Him more, to love His Word more, to be full of His Word. I want to treasure Christ above everything else in this world, to say as the psalmist in Psalm 73 that, "Earth has nothing I desire but you." Sure I could say it with my mouth but to say it with my heart is another thing altogether. Sure I could say I mean that, but when appliances and furniture and paint colors seem to fill the majority of my thoughts, is the cry of my heart really that earth has nothing I desire but Him?
Romans 8:1, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." No clauses, exceptions, or but's. Even for the weary mom who has been unkind and harsh to precious little Jesus-image-bearers who look to her for grace, mercy, love. Even for the mommy who wants so much to be a good Godly mommy but finds herself annoyed by her own children. Even for the mom who fears that she is setting the worst possible example for her children because perhaps she spends too much time on worthless things or she continues to say "Not now", "Later", or "we'll see." Yes, for these women, and anyone else who is in Christ Jesus, there is NO, I repeat, NO condemnation. Jesus is not looking down giving grades, "tsking" as he waves his finger, glaring down with furrowed eyebrows. No, He loves me and He shed His blood for this sinning, tired, imperfect mommy. He is not surprised and He is not frustrated or tired of me. He loves me and delights in me. Oh how I long to rest in these truths every moment of the day, especially the hard, babies not sleeping, toddlers whining, siblings fighting moments of the day. How do I do this? I hold fast to the word of life! I saturate myself, my mind, my time in His Word so that His thoughts become MY thoughts, His truths trump my lies! Help me Jesus. Help me saturate myself in You and truly say that earth has nothing I desire but you!
