A Monday of mercy....that is what today was. I felt the Lord's mercy continue to wash over me through the day. I felt him reminding me how much he loved me, how much I needed him, how much I needed to STOP striving and straining. I needed to stop expecting a "perfect" day, stop expecting or striving to be super mom, to have angelic children, to have perfectly structured time with no interruptions. Its so easy to pile on expectations only to fall hard in ungratefulness, anger, and bitterness. Its a hard choice for me -to just live each moment without expectations, to live each moment and accept it as a gift handed down from a loving and kind Father.
Pumpkin was up by 6:30 (in other words, WAY before I was even thinking of opening my eyes). Taz was up by 7:15. But, thanks to the movie Punchinello and his green nose, I was able to have a somewhat "quiet" time with the Lord. Sometimes it doesn't look the way I want it to (again, nix the expectations) but I can either cling to self the rest of the day which never goes well or I can cling to Jesus and His truth. As I chose my verse to hold on to throughout the day, I looked for a verse on self-control and the Lord reminded me of this one in 1 Peter 4:7, "The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers." Did you see the end of that verse? Because I think its pretty easy to just get stuck on the command be self-controlled and sober-minded. "For the sake of your prayers" - is it possible that my flippant anger and my fly-by-my-emotions way of living could hinder my prayers!??! I don't know but it sounds like that is kinda what this verse may be implying. It helped remind me today that self-control is not just a nice virtue to have...its a command from the almighty God and it can have more effects that I will ever know or see!
I very much enjoyed my children today. Thank you Jesus for helping me to. We had a book party on my bed, a painting session before that, and I was able to do a workout during morning room-time. I heard some terrible news again today...a little boy who would have turned 4 in 2 weeks (Pumpkin turns 4 in 3 weeks) was found dead in his bed by his parents yesterday morning. I hear and feel my own heart cracking, feeling that mother's anguish, heartache, ripping of her own self. I can hardly think on it for too long because I feel myself coming undone, giving way to fear for my own children. Instead, I choose to thank Jesus that I had another precious day with a sweet boy Pumpkin, an adorable Taz, and a gentle Miss O. Oh that I would see them through His eyes every day.
I pray that whoever reads this, that you will thank the Lord for your loved ones. Not just a cursory "thanks" thrown up to heaven but a deep, heart-felt, "thank You Father for stooping down from Heaven and handing me, your child, this person as a gift."
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